Anchorboy by Jay Onrait

Author:Jay Onrait [Onrait, Jay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781443430425
Publisher: HarperCollins Canada
Published: 2013-09-01T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 22

Sexually Harassed by a Senior Citizen

WHEN I WOULD FINALLY DRAG my stuffy ass into the TSN studios in beautiful Scarborough, Ontario, my first stop every night was the makeup chair.

I should qualify that statement: The first stop of the night was the Shell station up the road. Dan and I have a slight addiction to energy drinks.

How do I know it’s an addiction? Because despite the fact that it’s very likely killing me at a slow pace, I have no intention of stopping anytime soon. I imagine that drinking a king-size beer can of citrus-flavoured NOS five minutes before the show is a little like what it would have been like for John Belushi to perform high on cocaine on Saturday Night Live back in the late ’70s. I’m sure it’s not affecting the way we host the show at all. Let’s just say we were lucky that drug testing for Bell employees didn’t include taurine.

I also realize I’m taking a risk by devoting an entire chapter of this book to the art and practice of applying and wearing makeup as a necessity for my job, but I’m good with it if you are. I wear makeup every single night I go to work. There’s no shame in that, is there? Would it make you feel any better if I told you watching me on television without makeup would be a bit like watching Vincent Price host SportsCentre on his deathbed? Too harsh? Just thought that might put things in perspective. The truth is, those studio lights are powerful, and you need makeup just to look normal and not completely washed out. I always appreciated the fact that I spent most of my on-air career in a studio as opposed to being a field reporter, where my pale skin and dark circles would likely have distracted viewers from everything I was saying. All you aspiring reporters now know the most important element to a successful career in the field: perfect skin.

I am a man who loves sports and I wear makeup. I don’t think these things need to be mutually exclusive. Whether you realize it or not, men have been wearing makeup in the sports and entertainment industries for years. Let’s think of a few examples. Oh, I just did. And then I wrote them down:

Think about all the football and baseball players who wear eye-black under their eyes on hot summer days. If anything, it’s become a symbol of masculinity. Plus it gave Tim Tebow another place to display John 3:16, and we all know how important that is to Tim. How about the superstars of wrestling? The Road Warriors, Animal and Hawk, wouldn’t have been quite so fierce had they come into the ring without any war paint. Sting wouldn’t have had any gimmick whatsoever; he’d be a guy ripping off the lead singer of the Police. And don’t even get me started on the Ultimate Warrior. Can you imagine the Ultimate Warrior without makeup? He would have just been a bulked-up dude with a mullet.

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